Monday, May 23, 2011

New wii game

Boy is this a fun game! It's fun to hear the songs and watch the kids, the only real problem, they want it UP LOUD... and it goes on for at least an hour after school. It's great physical activity for the kids and they love it!

Dr. John Hawkins

What a wonderful Doctor, and human being Dr. John Hawkins was. Dr. Hawkins performed Ethan's open heart surgery when he was 5 months old. He was kind, funny, professional and mostly warm and empathetic, and THE BEST. literally. The best pediatric cardio thoracic surgeon in the world, and lucky for us, right here when our family needed it.

Every time I met/saw Dr. Hawkins he was so very kind, and it floored me how he could remember people, the thousands of children that have passed through his operating room. It's what made him so good at what he did.

Dr. Hawkins was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer almost two years ago, and he lost that battle last Sunday. A true loss for the world. He literally operated on children from all over the world, every day, several times a day.

The day before Ethan was to have open heart surgery, his nurse, Bonnie called to say that due to scheduling issues, Dr. Hawkins may have to pass to his associate Dr. Kouretas... I expressed my grief at this, it's like when you are pregnant, and you have this Dr for 9 months, and then they try to give you some resident to deliver your baby... I told her that I felt we "knew" Dr. Hawkins, and that he KNEW Ethan's heart, we wanted him.

Dr. Hawkins made it happen. He operated on a sick baby for 7 hours before moving right into Ethan's 5 hour surgery.

We are so grateful to Dr. Hawkins, his service to the "heart community" for all the time he spent being the best at what he did.

One morning after surgery, Dr. Hawkins made "rounds" and we were talking about how far this surgery had come in 20 years, he said 20 years ago babies with Ethan's condition were sent home to "be kept comfortable" until they failed. Now, they can go on to have normal, healthy lives. Dr. Hawkins noted that as much as he had learned what to do in the past 20 years of practicing, he knew what NOT TO DO, and that it was just as important as what he knew. I thought that was a remarkable statement.

The world is better because of Dr. John Hawkins.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Silly kid!

Tubby time

The last two are of them watching the end of the NASCAR race..... so upset that Jimmy Johnson isn't going to win..... well, not really, but it's becoming a family affair!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Thyroid update.

It's been about 2.5 mo since I began seeing Mark Johnson in Orem. He has me on 3 "drops"

1. For thyroid. Which, btw, he says it right where he wants it now.

2. Progesterone. WOW. What a difference that made. just a couple days after I started that I was able to "wake up" and get going.

3. A raspberry root. This one is for hormones in general.

Last week, he let me add Phosphatidyl. whatever. can't pronounce it, but it's to help stop the production of cortisol, which at this point is the last "problem" and unfortunately, goes hand in hand with thyroid. SIGH.

I am LOVING feeling better, BUT am having such a hard time with this weight that I CANNOT get off.... it has truly gotten under my skin, into my head, and makes me crazy. YET, I am, at the same time OK with who I am, more so than ever. I KNOW who I am, I KNOW what I am made of, and I know that I will continue to battle against my own body. I can be very determined, and I am still very hopeful that a remnant of what I looked like will return as my body tries to re learn what it has forgotten.

The very bright side of things is that I am now doing a whole bunch of stuff that I had really forgotten that I used to do ALL THE TIME, like:




LISTS. Yes, I have even forgotten that I am very motivated and driven by LISTS.

KIDS AND CHORES. I am now right behind them, like I'd been for 18.5 yrs BEFORE this  ugly little issue... kids could not be more pleased. wink, wink.

EXERCISE. If you know me, you know this has never been an issue, and yet, as you struggle to do it, knowing how much better it makes you feel, you JUST CAN'T.

I don't " I JUST CAN'T" anything. And I just couldn't.

BUT I'M BACK. A little more so everyday, and for the first time in a very long time, I'm very hopeful that I can win the battle.

Again. If you are getting to be 40, and you've noticed a few subtle changes, things that just don't seem right, act. research. be your own advocate. Things change at 40, I wish I could say it's all thyroid, all pituitary decline, but 40 is it's own beast, things are just going to be different. I am now mid life, and everything I do to keep young at heart is hard fought.

As we approach Mother's day, I am so grateful for a Mother who showed me how to stand up, take charge, and love myself, and who gave me an almost perfect "model" of how to do it. It makes it much easier to not be so hard on myself at this time of change and trasition. It also helps that she is still present and active in my life, still giving me that lift when I need it, those words when I can't find them, and the treasured gift of knowing, STILL, that she loves me and is proud of me.